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Old 03-02-2012   #1
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John Dies At The End

"Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark matter makes 99 percent of the universe, and they don't know what it is. Well I know. It's apathy. That's the truth of it: pile together everything we know and care about in the universe and will amount to nothing more than a tiny speck in the middle of a vast black ocean of Who Gives A ####." - David Wong, "John Dies At The End"

"This place, it's a horror show. If the guy next to you decides to knock you out of this world forever, he can do it with just a piece of metal or, hell, even his bare hand. You blobs, you sit there, chillin' in this room and I can smell the rot of dead animals soaking in the acid of your guts. You suck the life from the innocent creatures of this world just so you can clock another day. You're machines that run on the terror and pain and mutilation of other lives. You'll scrape the world clean of every green and living thing until starvation goes one-eight-seven on every one of your sorry asses, your desperation to put off death leadin' to the ultimate death of everybody and everything. Dude, I can't believe you ain't all paralyzed by the pure, naked horror of this place." - David Wong, "John Dies At The End"
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Old 03-02-2012   #2
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Re: John Dies At The End

I've heard good things about this book. Should I elevate it's position on my To Read list?

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Old 03-02-2012   #3
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Re: John Dies At The End

Oh yeah, it's a good read. It's written by one of the guys over at Cracked.com, so the humor is truly absurd, while still being a great weird horror read. One of my favorite bits is right at the beginning:

Quote
“So,” I said, “whose house is this?”
“What?”
“The sign out front says Morrison. Son. Morris-son. Now would you describe your own appearance for me?”
“I don’t-“
“-You see, because John and I have this thing where we’re both seeing completely different versions of you. Now, John has eyesight problems because of his constant masturbation, but I don’t think-“

She burst into snakes.

That’s right. One second she was a girl, then her body sort of spilled out of itself, falling into a dark, writhing puddle on the ground. It was a tangle of long, black serpents, rolling over each other and down the steps. We kicked at them as they rolled past, John warding them off with the torch. Some, I saw, had patches of color on their scales, like flesh or the flowered pattern of Shelly’s dress. I caught a glimpse of one snake with a writhing human eyeball still
embedded in its side, the iris powder blue.

Molly jumped back and barked—a little too late, I thought—and made a show of snapping at one of the snakes as it wound its way down the stairs. She bounded to the top of the stairs and disappeared through the doorway. We kicked through the slithering things and stomped up after the dog, just as the stairwell door banged shut completely on its own.

I reached for the knob. At the same moment it began to melt and transform, turning pink and finally taking the shape of a flaccid penis. It flopped softly against the door, like a man was cramming it through the knob hole from the other side.

I turned back to John and said, “That door cannot be opened.”

"Art should be a monster which casts servile minds into terror." - Tristan Tzara.
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Old 03-02-2012   #4
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Re: John Dies At The End

I heard that there was a film based on this book. Was it at the cinema or does anyone know the dvd release date for Europe?
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Old 03-02-2012   #5
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Re: John Dies At The End

Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Tovic View Post
I heard that there was a film based on this book. Was it at the cinema or does anyone know the dvd release date for Europe?
It premiered at Sundance and should be out and about sometime this year.
John Dies at the End The Movie Premiered at Sundance, Dave was There

It's directed by Don Coscarelli, who directed my favorite movie franchise ever, PHANTASM! I am looking forward to it.

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Old 03-02-2012   #6
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Re: John Dies At The End

Quote Originally Posted by Sam View Post
I've heard good things about this book. Should I elevate it's position on my To Read list?
yes! it is cosmic horror + so many puns and wisecracks that even if the movie is only half as funny as the book it will still be very very funny.
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Old 01-20-2013   #7
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Re: John Dies At The End

Just wanted to add that JDATE is probably the funniest book I've ever read. Seriously...can't breathe, tears rolling down my cheeks, gut-busting hysterical. CHG

Check out my philosophical horror tales and my instrumental rock @ Home - MULTIDEMENTIONAL
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Old 01-20-2013   #8
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Re: John Dies At The End

The movie's good too. it only covers about half the book, but that's still a whole lot of weird fiction funny.

and there's a sequel to the book, called This Book Is Full Of Spiders, which is on my to-read list (prolly once i finish Orphan Palace)
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