A Warning: Beware of this author

I have been asked to warn TL members about the following author, Richard Staines. He was supposedly "big" in the 70s (on a cult level) and is now active again. He seems to be on a mission to lower the tone of horror fiction as low as he can.

His website can be accessed here, although I would advise no-one to follow the link.

Richard Staines website

Mark S.

[Joel]

Good to see this writer coming back into circulation alongside TB and syphilis, neither of which quite matches his talent for ruining the body. I thought I was the only fan with Staines all over his bookcase. He used to attend conventions regularly, but these days I usually spend the whole Fantasycon weekend looking for Dick without success.

[Evans]

Quote Originally Posted by mark_samuels

He seems to be on a mission to lower the tone of horror fiction as low as he can. His website can be accessed here, although I would advise no-one to follow the link. Richard Staines website Mark S.

Care to give us a hint of the darstardly contents?

[Dr. Bantham]

Quote Originally Posted by mark_samuels

I have been asked to warn TL members about the following author, Richard Staines. He was supposedly "big" in the 70s (on a cult level) and is now active again. He seems to be on a mission to lower the tone of horror fiction as low as he can. His website can be accessed here, although I would advise no-one to follow the link. Richard Staines website Mark S.

My Special Plan has long been to launch a site dedicated to The Master. All of my labors with this site have been designed to hone my skills to a point where I could consider myself worthy of staining the interweb with Richard's visions. And now, to be beaten to the punch by a hapless relative. Do not follow this link, friends. You will not likely return.

[vegetable theories]

You're going to have forgive me, I'm slow on the uptake.
Is he a Garth Marenghi style spoof ?
If he's for real, he's so bad he's good.

[Odalisque]

Well, I did look at that site. I couldn't resist the temptation (which will probably not surprise Mr Samuels). Lobster Holocaust!

After explaining that he's not connected to the Interweb, the aptly-named Mr Staines says: "I hear you can get a lot of porn 'online' so I may have to invest soon." It seems to me that many others would think the same thing, but I believe that few of them would express the thought on a public website. Is this a sign of the coming (in more ways than one) emergence of an Autosexual Liberation Front? That said, his picture makes him look so much like a bloated toad that I'm a bit relieved to think that his sex-life revolves around pornography, rather than inflicting his person on fellow humans.

[waffles]

I hope Quentin Tarrantino makes the film adaptations.

My one criticism is that the name Richard Staines could be construed as a tad less than subtle. I also suspect it could alienate women who think that some men are overly obsessed with their underpants.

Arguably you should go for the jugular. A name referencing Shaun Hutson, James Herbert, Ramsey Campbell, Stephen King or [...insert name of your choice here...] would be more courageous.

Sometimes you need to draw a line in the sand and choose which side to stand on. You can't pine for award recognition while taking veiled potshots at the organisations and movers who bestow them. You satirise the BFS in stories like 'Cannibal Feast' but you're careful to keep Ramsey Campbell and Stephen Jones onside because they may be able to further your career: personally, I find that incompatible.

And, for the record, although I'm not a fan of Mr Hutson's work, I find Ramsey Campbell's snootiness towards him hypocritical. Robert Aickman (were he alive), Thomas Ligotti and Reggie Oliver could justifiably look down upon Mr Campbell from a similar height but they have the good manners not to.

It doesn't matter whether you're a hack writer or a literary genius, you're either part of the Establishment or you're against it. Play the game or slay the oligarchs as nature intended, it's your choice. Of course, the third alternative is to disengage totally.

The vast majority of people who succeed in life 'know thyself'. I sense that notwithstanding your talents, you are unsure of yourself. Well, at the risk of being very patronising and impertinent - to say nothing of being brazenly open - you need to decide whether you want money or critical sucess. You either need to compromise your principles, suck up to people you don't like and write stuff that is "beneath" you, or you need to offend the Establishment, write the fine prose that you aspire to, and die miserably in a gutter at a early age like Edgar Allen Poe.

What makes you happy? Money, family and nice things now, or crafting a sentence that a handful of people might remember in fifty years?

Yours very dramatically,

JK

[Judge Holden]

Jesus. Warning not to look at the website is like telling someone not to rubberneck a horrendous accident scene while driving - and the effect is the same. Why did I subject myself to that horrible sight?

Quote Originally Posted by Julian Karswell

My one criticism is that the name Richard Staines could be construed as a tad less than subtle. I also suspect it could alienate women who think that some men are overly obsessed with their underpants. Arguably you should go for the jugular. A name referencing Shaun Hutson, James Herbert, Ramsey Campbell, Stephen King or [...insert name of your choice here...] would be more courageous. Sometimes you need to draw a line in the sand and choose which side to stand on. You can't pine for award recognition while taking veiled potshots at the organisations and movers who bestow them. You satirise the BFS in stories like 'Cannibal Feast' but you're careful to keep Ramsey Campbell and Stephen Jones onside because they may be able to further your career: personally, I find that incompatible. And, for the record, although I'm not a fan of Mr Hutson's work, I find Ramsey Campbell's snootiness towards him hypocritical. Robert Aickman (were he alive), Thomas Ligotti and Reggie Oliver could justifiably look down upon Mr Campbell from a similar height but they have the good manners not to. It doesn't matter whether you're a hack writer or a literary genius, you're either part of the Establishment or you're against it. Play the game or slay the oligarchs as nature intended, it's your choice. Of course, the third alternative is to disengage totally. The vast majority of people who succeed in life 'know thyself'. I sense that notwithstanding your talents, you are unsure of yourself. Well, at the risk of being very patronising and impertinent - to say nothing of being brazenly open - you need to decide whether you want money or critical sucess. You either need to compromise your principles, suck up to people you don't like and write stuff that is "beneath" you, or you need to offend the Establishment, write the fine prose that you aspire to, and die miserably in a gutter at a early age like Edgar Allen Poe. What makes you happy? Money, family and nice things now, or crafting a sentence that a handful of people might remember in fifty years? Yours very dramatically, JK

Having said that, the website is very funny.