National Tell a Story Day

[njhorror]

http://www.nationaldaycalendar.com/d...-day-april-27/

I know that the one in the UK is six months from now, but if you have one, why not?

Here's a very spooky story for you all:


AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT


"WARNING: IF YOU HAVE A HEART CONDITION DO NOT READ THIS. YOU WILL DROP THE FLOOR, FLOPPING LIKE A FISH, WHILE CLENCHING YOUR HEART SEEING AS YOU ARE HAVING A HEART ATTACK. ALSO: IF YOU HAVE A SENSITIVE ANUS DO NOT READ THIS; THE BRICK YOU SHAT WILL BE PAINFUL.

A FEW YEARS AGO A MAN WAS WALKING DOWN A ROAD BECAUSE HIS CAR BROKE DOWN AND HE SAW A CAR COMING UP BEHIND HIM SO HE STUCK OUT HIS THUMB TO HITCH HIKE AND THE CAR STOPPED AHEAD OF HIM. HE RAN UP TO THE PASSENGER SIDE AND OPENED THE DOOR. WHEN HE OPENED THE DOOR A SKELETON POPPED OUT"

[T.E. Grau]

I actually laughed out loud. My daughter will love this. Hell, my wife will too.

Quote Originally Posted by Nirvana In Karma

Here's a very spooky story for you all: AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT "WARNING: IF YOU HAVE A HEART CONDITION DO NOT READ THIS. YOU WILL DROP THE FLOOR, FLOPPING LIKE A FISH, WHILE CLENCHING YOUR HEART SEEING AS YOU ARE HAVING A HEART ATTACK. ALSO: IF YOU HAVE A SENSITIVE ANUS DO NOT READ THIS; THE BRICK YOU SHAT WILL BE PAINFUL. A FEW YEARS AGO A MAN WAS WALKING DOWN A ROAD BECAUSE HIS CAR BROKE DOWN AND HE SAW A CAR COMING UP BEHIND HIM SO HE STUCK OUT HIS THUMB TO HITCH HIKE AND THE CAR STOPPED AHEAD OF HIM. HE RAN UP TO THE PASSENGER SIDE AND OPENED THE DOOR. WHEN HE OPENED THE DOOR A SKELETON POPPED OUT"

Quote Originally Posted by T.E. Grau

I actually laughed out loud. My daughter will love this. Hell, my wife will too. Quote Originally Posted by Nirvana In Karma Here's a very spooky story for you all: AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT "WARNING: IF YOU HAVE A HEART CONDITION DO NOT READ THIS. YOU WILL DROP THE FLOOR, FLOPPING LIKE A FISH, WHILE CLENCHING YOUR HEART SEEING AS YOU ARE HAVING A HEART ATTACK. ALSO: IF YOU HAVE A SENSITIVE ANUS DO NOT READ THIS; THE BRICK YOU SHAT WILL BE PAINFUL. A FEW YEARS AGO A MAN WAS WALKING DOWN A ROAD BECAUSE HIS CAR BROKE DOWN AND HE SAW A CAR COMING UP BEHIND HIM SO HE STUCK OUT HIS THUMB TO HITCH HIKE AND THE CAR STOPPED AHEAD OF HIM. HE RAN UP TO THE PASSENGER SIDE AND OPENED THE DOOR. WHEN HE OPENED THE DOOR A SKELETON POPPED OUT"

Glad I could sow the seeds of humor, Mr. Grau. I must admit this isn't mine, but a rather infamous, anonymously-written example of an Internet phenomenon known as Creepypasta.

[njhorror]

Ok, I'm at work. Let's see . . .

When I was in grammar school my friends and I would walk about six blocks to the bus stop to catch the bus home. We'd stop in to this Italian bakery to get "the best" Sicilian pizza ever made. The pizza was so good that I would scrounge up every last cent that I could and buy as many slices as I had money for.
It was usually pretty crowded with old Italian people buying pastries or specialty pies, etc. This one day I was famished! I dug around inside my pockets and came up with only enough money for one slice. I waited as the pans rotated in this giant oven, around and around, visible through a glass window. When the pie came out I knew right away that I wanted a "corner slice," because it was cooked crisp around the edge with a flavor that was pure heaven.
I paid my 25 cents to the grandmotherly Italian lady who was always there and treated us very nicely. She cautioned me in a thick Italian accent, "Not too fast, it just came out of the oven." My mind was reeling at the perfect "corner slice" on my paper plate. It was larger than normal and the aroma was intoxicating. As the drool started to leak from the corner of my mouth I said "#### it" and chomped down like a starving lion!
Well. Instantly I knew that I'd make a mistake of epic proportion. The pain on the roof of my mouth was so intense that it blinded me. I fell to the floor (pizza balanced on its plate) writhing and moaning, twisting with agony. Some guy says, "What's he doin, playin turtle?" before the crowd around me backed up when they realized what had happened. An old lady asked, "Should we call an ambulance?" I twisted my head "NO" as I tried to pry the offending glob of scalding cheese off the roof of my mouth. The old woman behind the counter yells to her husband, "Gimme somma ice water" and comes around the counter to my rescue, glass in hand, with concern written all over her face. I guzzle the ice water until the pain is manageable and begin to feel a giant blister forming on the roof of my mouth. I look around at everyone staring at me and sheepishly take the remainder of my slice and rush out the door to catch my bus.

I was SO embarrassed that I didn't go back









for











two whole days.

What can I say? The pizza was that good!

[ramonoski]

What follows is, I think, the finest weird tale of the modern age. If S.T. Joshi hasn't included it in any of his fine collections, it's certainly because it would tower high above anyone else included in them:

TEH DAY OF ALL TEH BLOD

THIS IS THE STORY OF A DAY WHERE THERE WAS ALL THIS BLOOD. A MAN WAS WALKING AROUND AND BLOOD STARTED COMING OUT OF HIM EVERYWHERE. THERE WAS SO MUCH BLOOD THAT IT FILLED UP AN ELEVATOR. HE WENT TO THE STORE AND THERE WAS JUST BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE! PEOPLE WERE SLIPPING IN IT AND THEY WERE ALL GROSSED OUT. HE TRIED TO GO SWIMMING AND ALL OF THE SHARKS WENT NUTS AND BITTENED EVERYBODY. HE GOT CHASED BY ALL THE VAMPIRES EVER. ONE TIME THE BLOOD GOT A KID AND A DOG. AT THE END OF THE DAY EVERYONE DECIDED THEY WOULD SEND HIM TO SPACE SO THAT HE WOULD STOP GETTING BLOOD EVERY WHERE. THE SCARIEST PART IS THAT THE MAN WAS YOU!!! (OR HE WAS A LADY IF YOU ARE A LADY) AND YOU FORGOT THAT THIS HAPPENED.

[T.E. Grau]

Yeah, I looked it up before I re-posted it on my FB page, as I didn't want to steal anything proprietary.

Although I think you and I and Creepypasta just helped found the new terrifying, extreme horror subgenre of SkeletonPunk (or SkelePop, I'm still working out the angles...)

Quote Originally Posted by Nirvana In Karma

Quote Originally Posted by T.E. Grau I actually laughed out loud. My daughter will love this. Hell, my wife will too. Quote Originally Posted by Nirvana In Karma Here's a very spooky story for you all: AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT "WARNING: IF YOU HAVE A HEART CONDITION DO NOT READ THIS. YOU WILL DROP THE FLOOR, FLOPPING LIKE A FISH, WHILE CLENCHING YOUR HEART SEEING AS YOU ARE HAVING A HEART ATTACK. ALSO: IF YOU HAVE A SENSITIVE ANUS DO NOT READ THIS; THE BRICK YOU SHAT WILL BE PAINFUL. A FEW YEARS AGO A MAN WAS WALKING DOWN A ROAD BECAUSE HIS CAR BROKE DOWN AND HE SAW A CAR COMING UP BEHIND HIM SO HE STUCK OUT HIS THUMB TO HITCH HIKE AND THE CAR STOPPED AHEAD OF HIM. HE RAN UP TO THE PASSENGER SIDE AND OPENED THE DOOR. WHEN HE OPENED THE DOOR A SKELETON POPPED OUT" Glad I could sow the seeds of humor, Mr. Grau. I must admit this isn't mine, but a rather infamous, anonymously-written example of an Internet phenomenon known as Creepypasta.

Quote

Although I think you and I and Creepypasta just helped found the new terrifying, extreme horror subgenre of SkeletonPunk (or SkelePop, I'm still working out the angles...)

Coming soon to the SkeletonPunk section of a B&N near you!

A Clavicle for Leibowitz
The Temporal Bone of the Golden Pavillion
A Coxal Orange
For Whom the Bell Skulls
The Hero With a Thousand Phalanges
The Satanic Vertebrae
My Work is Not Yet Bone
The Carpals of Monte Cristo
Osteomancer

[T.E. Grau]

Hipsters will line up from Brooklyn to Burkina Faso to claim they were way into SkeletonPunk before anyone else, and now the whole scene is so played.