Hiding in the Heart

[SwansSoilMe/SwansSaveMe]

"We can hide from horror only in the heart of horror." --Thomas Ligotti

...or at least somewhere within it. The further from the heart of it, the more exposed. Or rather, the more exposed (the less "hidden") you'll feel. For horror has our very eyes.

Yet if we enter into the heart of anything, do we not know it fully, and in knowing, does not the restless (or progressive) human organism transcend that something? And are we in fact really hidden -- anywhere?

But with such as horror, we certainly need a certain feeling of safety. Thus, to us, we are "hiding" when we have taken that paradoxical, courageous step into what we most fear, and what most...horrifies. In a way, we become nestled at the bosom of that darkness and become its child. Safe (for the moment); after a minute, perhaps unnoticed. Hidden powerless in the arms of a power strong enough to destroy us.

And this too is instinctive, when it happens. We usually notice one day that we spend an awful lot of time around things horrible, and that we feel hidden, or at a kind of rest. By our own choice -- who else's? -- but having been only dully aware of the choosing.

This kind of escape, however, means we were once quite aware...

These the beginnings of what I thought might develop into an essay. Time, my friends, time...not enough of, or not enough something. Thoughts, additions anyone?