Doctors Say the Oddest Things

[Aetherwing]

Some months ago, I was frequenting a neurologist, in an attempt to diagnose constant & unbearable pain. (it was fibromyalgia, and I take meds that control it well now) He had run just about every test designed by modern medicine, and his next stop was a Lumbar Puncture, more commonly known as a spinal tap.

I wasn't really very comfortable with the idea of my lumbar being puncture, and cerebrospinal fluid being drawn out, but doctor knows best...

In his office, I assumed a fetal position on my right side, per his instructions. He administered a local anesthetic, and assured me I would feel no pain, but that it was imperative I remain totally still.

He inserted the disturbingly large-bore needle into my spine. True to his word, there was no pain, but as he began drawing the CSF out, I experienced a peculiar and unpleasant deflating sort of sensation.

It was at this point that Doc made a most inappropriate and unwelcome comment.

Let me backtrack for a moment. This doctor is tall, gaunt, and very soft-spoken. Nice fellow, really, and never had I any reason to be creeped out by him previously. Until this moment...

As I lay there, fearing to move, feeling weird draining sensations in my spine, Doctor said, in his soft voice, "You know, cerebro-spinal fluid is said to taste like sugar water, if one were to get it in one's mouth."

My flesh instantly crawled. I had horrible visions of this gaunt Doctor sipping my spinal fluids out, and from my position, which I dare not move from, I could not see him at all...I forced a laugh, and asked "WHY would you even say that?"

He replied, "Oh, no reason...I think I heard that in Medical school." Then he chuckled.

This made me very uncomfortable, obviously! How would YOU like to be in this position?

Shudderingly,

Aether

[candy]

Oh my God, I would have completely freaked out. After he pulled the needle out I would have run as far away as I could as quickly as I could. I am glad to here you are able to control the Fibromyalgia with meds. I have heard that it can be quite painful.

[Bleak&Icy]

Aetherwing, can you be entirely certain that "the disturbingly large-bore needle" was not in fact a drinking straw? Shudder.

It is good to see that you have retained your sense of humour, in spite of your pain. Hope all is well, and thanks for sharing this little gem of strangeness. It made me shudder too. My father recently underwent brain surgery (a procedure known as "deep brain stimulation" in which electrodes are implanted deep in the brain, connected to wires which run down the neck, leading to a pacemaker in the chest. It is the final resort for patients with Parkinson's disease, when the medication is no longer effective). After spending two weeks visiting my father each day in the neuro-department of the hospital, I can testify that neurosurgeons are odd people who seem to obey their own laws of social etiquette.

[Jezetha]

Perhaps, Aetherwing, in his own bizarre way Doctor thought he was putting you at ease by making such a remark...What I would do or think at such a moment? My humour can be rather dark. I probably would have said 'Like a sip'? IF I could have managed it, that is...

[Nemonymous]

I was listening to BBC Radio 4 this morning waiting to hear the National News at 8.0 am and just before on a Sunday they have the Radio 4 Appeal (for Charities). This morning it was Barbara Windsor (of 'Carry On' and 'Eastenders' fame) appealing for us to give money to a Chariy that sends 'Clown Doctors' into hospitals.

[Jezetha]

Clown Doctors - very Ligottian.

In Holland we have so-called 'CliniClowns', who are used to entertain very sick children in hospitals.