Who Are You? - Page 2

Dr. Valzer · 03-13-2005

Hello Quentin! Great to see you here as well. I am an admirer of your fiction.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on CHARNEL WINE once you've had a chance to read it.

All the best,
Richard Gavin

Brian Lavelle · 03-20-2005

This is great way to get to know people on here. I hope more people come on and introduce themselves.

Anyway, I'm Brian Lavelle, 32, originally from Glasgow but now living and working in Edinburgh. I'm a huge Ligotti fan, but my other major authorial interest is the work of Robert Aickman and I've a bibliographical site dedicated to Aickman which I've slowly been building up since last August. For those who are interested in these kinds of things, I also make abstract electronic music... Brian Poe has encouraged me to upload some of my pieces to this site and I might take him up on that.

I've recently read both Quentin and Richard's latest collections and enjoyed both immensely. For those out there who haven't got hold of these, or who have them in the "to read" piles, I encourage you to seek them out.

Best wishes,
Brian

Dr. Bantham · 03-20-2005

Well met to you all, I say. We have a most interesting gathering of individuals here. I have often marveled at the uncanny similarities I hold with some of my fellow Ligottians. However, in reading the posts of others I have been intrigued, enlightened and even humored. Cheers to all of you.

Well, I suppose it is time to step before the group and proclaim my existence as an individual...

I grew up as a very sensitive young man and was introduced to H. P. Lovecraft in my early teens. This left a permanent mark on my psyche, which has been matched by few encounters. Growing up in an essentially rural town in Virginia, I also became fascinated with the underground music of the eighties, most notably of the English flavor. Joy Division remains as my all time favorite band.

I am proudly a high school graduate and nothing more, as I certainly did not envision myself escaping alive from that hell and I dropped out of college in my first year. Not due to the task of learning, mind you, simply because I was so scarred mentally that I could not make the short walk to the cafeteria, much less the exposure required in class.

Hereafter I made periodical attempts at music and began a minimum wage JTPA job utilizing my home-brew computer skills in the late eighties (yes - I am a child of the projects) . This landed a job at a local construction company, and I have stayed with this field ever since. I am now a Chief Estimator for large construction company, a job which pays the bills by way of sucking out the very essence of life from me on an unending basis.

Unlike most of the members I have "met", I am a family man. Without my wife and two children to give meaning to life, I would certainly not be among you now. Seriously.

I happened upon a copy of Grimscribe in the early nineties, and I have been an obsessive collector of Ligotti materials since, though the bulk of my collection has been amassed during these last few years wherein the internet and my finances have presented more opportunity. Upon noticing what Matt Cardin refers to as the "quiescence" of Thomas Ligotti Online and the subsequent relegation of the site to various subdomains, I decided to establish this domain and construct my own site. However, on a last minute whim I contacted Jon Padgett and proposed that we team together to resurrect TLO, and I am elated that he kindly accepted my offer. There is no doubt that I would have given up at some point without the established content and longstanding recognition that TLO offered, not to mention the continued efforts of Jon himself. I can not go on enough about Jon's superb attitude, unending selflessness and sheer talent. I'm just a monkey with a CPU.

I am a writer by instinct, though I fear that as with many of my interests my love for the labor is much greater than the fruit borne thereof. My work is so scattered that I do not even know what form it may take in the end. I also yearn to release some form of music before my death, being a self distraught musician by way of keyboards, bass guitar and a feeble approach with the guitar. I have looked upon my efforts of helping to reconstruct TLO as being more of a creative endeavor than technical, albeit in an abstract manner.

I suppose I should stop at this point to avoid embarrassing myself any more. Ironically, since I managed to somehow escape my own destruction some years ago I have since worn my heart upon my sleeve a bit too brazenly, given the right audience. My goal in life is to convey the appearance of a dignified death.

Perhaps I could integrate a bio section within the membership panels, wherein each member can shed light upon their earthly form. Thoughts? I may end up revising the content of this post once I proofread it myself. I am suddenly becoming a trite bit self conscious...

unknown · 03-20-2005

just judging by your post, Brian, I must say that your biography would be an interesting and heart-rending read.

a bio section would be interesting

unknown · 03-20-2005

wow...given everybody else's indepth self-analyses, I feel as though I should elaborate on mine.

I am a 17 year old high school student. I currently live in San Pedro, CA. The city is, basically, the armpit of Los Angeles. It is also home to the largest port in the world. Anyway. I don't enjoy living here. Well, I just don't enjoy the people. They are all materialistic and superficial. I'd like to see most of them meet a Ligottian end. Haha. anyway. After high school, I plan to do some time in a local community college before transferring to a 4 year to get my teaching credentials. I'd like to be a high school english teacher with an intense focus on grammar and writing.

Music is basically my life. I play guitar, bass, clarinet, alto sax and keyboard. I have made a dark ambient cd, which I need to send off to a guy I know to possibly be published/printed. I enjoy listening to metal. If it's awkward, uncomfortable or bizarre, I will listen to it. I also highly enjoy neo-folk and apocalyptic folk music (as it's sometimes called). The majority of the bands I listen to do not even come from the US, the majority come from Norway, Sweden, the Ukraine and other European nations.

As far as reading goes, as long as it's interesting I'll read it. The only book I started and never finished was Pride and Prejudice (which I had to read recently for my AP Literature Class). Do not get me started on that book. Otherwise, I enjoy literature that is highly original and inventive.

I do write. I have written an incomplete novella, which I keep telling myself I will finish someday. I've composed a plethora of short stories, and an even larger plethora of poems.

matt cardin · 03-20-2005

This is fascinating stuff. I'm pleased to see so many people offering insights into their backgrounds and motivations.

At the moment I'm also especially interested to read the many references to musicianship and music composition.

Brian Lavelle writes that he makes "abstract electronic music" and may upload some of it to this site. I hope you do, Brian.

Brian Poe writes that he "yearn[s] to release some form of music before my death, being a self distraught musician by way of keyboards, bass guitar and a feeble approach with the guitar." I love the designation "self distraught," and I hope you indeed manage to release some of your yearned-for music. (I'm assuming you mean you yearn to manifest in concrete, sharable form the music that you sense in your spirit.)

Unknown writes, "Music is basically my life. I play guitar, bass, clarinet, alto sax and keyboard. I have made a dark ambient cd, which I need to send off to a guy I know to possibly be published/printed." I would love to hear this CD, as I quite enjoy music in the dark ambient genre.

As I said, this all really draws my attention, since I have played piano and keyboards for 27 years, and have for long stretches of time engaged obsessively in music composition. Back in high school I began composing electronic music with an analog synthesizer keyboard, an analog four-track recorder, and a drum machine. In college I composed music to accompany the video productions I made, and then after graduation continued the trend by composing scores for a few of my professional video productions. Then I sold all of my equipment and have for the past many years remained bereft of the resources to pursue this passion, although the music has continued to play silently in my private world.

Most recently, the job I've held down at a piano and keyboard store since last November has put me in contact with a bunch of digital pianos and keyboards, and this has allowed me to resurrect my old hobby. I'm especially pleased that the sophistication of the available technology now enables me to make my music sound the way I had always wished it would sound but could never achieve. I spend every available spare moment at work holed up with one of the digital instruments, and at present am working on or have finished enough songs to round out a short album. When I get hold of some CD burning capabilities, I'll rip some MP3s and share some of my music here.

I would love for all of you who compose music to do the same, as I'm passionately interested to hear the music that other people with a kindred emotional interest in Ligotti and related writers/artists are making.

unknown · 03-20-2005

I have some mp3s of my electronic music...how would I go about uploading these? (or I could just email them to you, matt)

Brian Lavelle · 03-20-2005

Well, Brian, Matt et al, I've uploaded three pieces from a number of items that are on my website. These are some of the, for want of a better adjective, 'darker' pieces.

The three pieces are in the Media section, under Member Creations.

Brian

Dr. Bantham · 03-20-2005

I think I can fix this later, after I backup the database. If anyone posts as a guest, please bring it to my attention so that I may correct it. I will be prohibiting guest posting as soon as I find out how. This will result in a prompt to login if you attempt to post or reply.

All registered members can upload music to the Media section of the site. Just click on Media at the main menu, select the Member Creations directory and click on the Up Song button. The Album functions similarly, with the option to upload to the Public or Personal Galleries.

Brian Lavelle · 03-20-2005

Matt

I should have also said earlier that I'd be very keen to hear any of your music and hope you get the chance to upload some soon. If it's half as compelling as the fiction of yours I've read, I know I'll enjoy it.

I've wondered before what it is about Ligotti's writing that draws the interest of those whom you might call the more creative type. I think we're a very singular bunch!

Brian