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Old 05-02-2016   #531
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Re: What Makes You Laugh?


"When a man is born. . .there are nets flung at (his being) to hold it back from flight. You talk to me of nationality, language, religion. I shall try to fly by those nets." - James Joyce
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Old 05-03-2016   #532
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Re: What Makes You Laugh?

I promise this is the last Sam & Max-related post I will make.


Oh, and this guy with Tourette syndrome is funny too:


Your fall should be like the fall of mountains. But I was before mountains. I was in the beginning, and shall be forever. The first and the last. The world come full circle. I am not the wheel. I am the hand that turns the wheel. I am Time, the Destroyer. I was the wind and the stars before this. Before planets. Before heaven and hell. And when all is done, I will be wind again, to blow this world as dust back into endless space. To me the coming and going of Man is as nothing.
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Old 05-03-2016   #533
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Re: What Makes You Laugh?


Your fall should be like the fall of mountains. But I was before mountains. I was in the beginning, and shall be forever. The first and the last. The world come full circle. I am not the wheel. I am the hand that turns the wheel. I am Time, the Destroyer. I was the wind and the stars before this. Before planets. Before heaven and hell. And when all is done, I will be wind again, to blow this world as dust back into endless space. To me the coming and going of Man is as nothing.
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Old 05-03-2016   #534
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Re: What Makes You Laugh?


"When a man is born. . .there are nets flung at (his being) to hold it back from flight. You talk to me of nationality, language, religion. I shall try to fly by those nets." - James Joyce
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Old 05-03-2016   #535
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Re: What Makes You Laugh?

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Old 05-04-2016   #536
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Re: What Makes You Laugh?

A Tough Call: Ted Cruz Announced He’s Suspending ... | ClickHole

A Tough Call: Ted Cruz Announced Hes Suspending His Campaign To Tend To His Thousands Of Glistening Eggs


I believe that I could have served the American people admirably as president, but at the end of the day, my throbbing, glistening eggs come first, a visibly emotional Cruz said at a press conference in St. Louis this morning. I need to keep my eggs wet with Sprite soda, and thats incredibly time-consuming. I cannot in good conscience continue my bid for the presidency when I know that twice every hour I need to go into my garage, where my thousands of throbbing eggs shimmer in the dim headlights of the minivan I keep idling at all times, and I need to moisten them with Sprite soda from a spray bottle. My eggs have got to be wet with Sprite soda. Im sorry.

Cruz held a brief Q&A session following his announcement, and when a crestfallen supporter asked the Texas senator why he couldnt get somebody else to care for his mountain of eggs until the election was over, Cruz responded firmly and pragmatically:
I need to sing hymns to my eggs, I need to keep my eggs safe from cockroaches and other predators, I need to count my eggs, and I need to keep my eggs wet with Sprite soda. Most importantly, when the eggs hatch, I need to be there so that the hatchlings can devour my body. It has to be me. Thank you to all my supporters, and may God continue to bless this great country.

"When a man is born. . .there are nets flung at (his being) to hold it back from flight. You talk to me of nationality, language, religion. I shall try to fly by those nets." - James Joyce
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Old 05-04-2016   #537
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Re: What Makes You Laugh?


- This eerily-prescient bit from 2012 shows that our reality has become so ridiculous it is almost impervious to satire.

"When a man is born. . .there are nets flung at (his being) to hold it back from flight. You talk to me of nationality, language, religion. I shall try to fly by those nets." - James Joyce
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Old 05-04-2016   #538
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Old 05-05-2016   #539
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Re: What Makes You Laugh?


"When a man is born. . .there are nets flung at (his being) to hold it back from flight. You talk to me of nationality, language, religion. I shall try to fly by those nets." - James Joyce
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Old 05-06-2016   #540
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Re: What Makes You Laugh?


Your fall should be like the fall of mountains. But I was before mountains. I was in the beginning, and shall be forever. The first and the last. The world come full circle. I am not the wheel. I am the hand that turns the wheel. I am Time, the Destroyer. I was the wind and the stars before this. Before planets. Before heaven and hell. And when all is done, I will be wind again, to blow this world as dust back into endless space. To me the coming and going of Man is as nothing.
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