A few reviews

[Robert Adam Gilmour]

I thought Prevenge was pretty good but not exceptional. You say you wanted more black humour so what was inappropriate and tasteless for you?

[Zaharoff]

Sex via seduction with mostly repellant social and physical types.
I am reluctant to over-discuss because I loathe spoiling plots for others.
This is a vengeance film, but it is crude in almost every sense.
I watched this because of the writer / director's earlier Sightseers.
This was disappointing, though not overly so.
Most films are LCD oriented. In my opinion.
What did Oscar Wilde say?
"All art is quite useless."
Killing time before the abyss.

[Zaharoff]

A Bay Of Blood - 1971 - 7/10*
AKA - Reazione a Catena



An elderly lady is noosed from her wheelchair and left dangling.
The assassin emerges from shadows and is himself slain.
Next, greedy and murderous heirs begin to migrate to the bay manor.
And blood flows and flows.
This ain’t high art but it is an excellent Giallo by Bava. (* Rating against other Giallos)
Film is packed with killings and attractive females.
If you anticipate swim sequences and couplings, so did Bava.
Often hard to keep track of who is killing who - I mean that as a plus.

Be sure to check out insightful audio commentary by Bava biographer Tim Lucas

[Zaharoff]

35 Days: S01 - 2014 - 6/10
AKA - 35 Diwrnod



Slow burn, par excellence.
Pocket community lives in an affluent close (dead-end circle).
Residents are a checkered lineup of sinners and stone throwers.
New arrival, an attractive air hostess, upsets a precarious balance.
Men start sniffing, women pull out tally sheets.
No spoiler - the opening scene, viewers see a female sprawled on the floor, possibly dead.
Next, we are immediately propelled back 35 days and the story plays out.
Artfully written as motives surface and suspects grow.
Enjoyable, sour series from Wales (get subs!) will delight Scandinavian Noir buffs.

[Zaharoff]

Chinatown Nights - 1929 - 6/10



Creaky drama, loses steam after an opening that resembles Warners films.
Rival Tong gangs battle on the streets and in a Chinese theater.
One gang led by the inscrutable Oriental (stereotyped Warner Oland), the other by an Irish boss (Wallace Beery).
First act rips along, only to stutter into romantic entanglement.
Despite flaws, film has loads of curiosity value.
Begun as a Silent, Paramount converted it to a Talkie mid production.
Dialogue was looped, save for Florence Vidor, hers was dubbed and she subsequently quit movies.
Mild by Pre-Code standards, there are elements that definitely would be censored later.
The silent scenes, even those dubbed later, move quicker and better than the static talkie sections.

[Zaharoff]

High Tension - 2003 - 5/10
AKA - Haute Tension



Slasher film of two females who visit one of their parents in remote farmland France.
Access is through dirt road and seemingly endless cornfield.
They arrive late at night, say hello, then everyone goes to sleep.
No one hears the rusted work van arrive, nor hear the heavyset man approach the house.
The intruder’s motivations are vague, though a reason teases out midway.
Film suffers structural problems as it is carnage heavy in the beginning, then plods for forty minutes.
There is an unexpected and terrific “turn” near the end.
Unfortunately, I started applying logic at that point and the whole film collapsed for me.

[Zaharoff]

Sharknado - 2013 - 3/10



To paraphrase a Spinal Tap review.
Sharknado = Sh!tnado.
Hurricane slams into Santa Monica, after having sucked hundreds of sharks into its whirlwinds.
Flying sharks apparently have no problem breathing air, and they bite off limbs and heads of passing humans.
Streets fill with water, even in the hills of Beverly Hills, and sharkies swim from living rooms to dining rooms to ... dine!
Terrible acting, awful script, mindless direction, crapo music, especially bad CGI.
Followed by sequels.
John Heard uncannily resembles Brian Wilson. Other producers should have picked up on that.

[Zaharoff]

The Reef - 2010 - 5/10



Watery adventure off Australia!
Handful of friends sail out for a couple days swimming and snorkeling.
Without giving too much away, boat strikes reef and capsizes.
Most then decide to swim toward unseen, yet hoped for, land, eleven miles away.
After several hours one asks, "Hey, what's that fin poking through the waves?"
What? Not the shark! Sure hope he doesn't like tasty humans.
Supposedly based on a true story, yet within ten minutes I predicted who would get eaten, in what order, and who survived.
Had its moments, offset by boring paddling. Worse, I kept rooting for Marc The Shark.

[Zaharoff]

In The Deep - 2016 - 6/10
AKA - 47 Meters Down



Loca turista story.
Two sisters get talked into shark dive.
Get lowered into infested waters while safely protected inside a steel cage.
Sounds like fun! What could go wrong?
The trip is cash only, the boat is a rust bucket, the winching mechanism is aged.
The crewmen illegally chum the waters and down our girls go.
Docked a point because one sister is an irritating whine and their reasons for doing this are wrong.
Given a point because the photography is imaginative and the plot plays out in real time.

[Zaharoff]

Bait - 2012 - 5/10



Bait as in the menu of the shark menu, with savory humans as appetizers and snackies.
Powerful tsunami drives great whites inland into an Australian shopping mall.
Helpless shoppers splash and shout anytime those jaws snap.
Better than recent, smirking comedies designed for “celebrity” cameos.
Premise of killer in a locked room with victims is OK.
Characters, ranging from sketches to neo-melodrama, behave mostly intelligently.

(Note: I live with two shark obsessed females, for me there is no escaping species Selachii.)