A few reviews

[Zaharoff]

The Girl From Rio - 1969 - 5/10
AKA - Rio 70 // The Seven Secrets of Sumuru



Yeah, I knew this was going to be bad. Still ...
This was based on Sax Rohmer’s Sumuru character and I have read those books.
Plus, ole Jess Franco directs with probably the biggest budget he ever had.
Thief escapes to Rio de Janeiro with $10M in a briefcase.
A crime syndicate headed by George Sanders ties to forcibly seize it.
Sumuru, here called Sumitra, also covets the loot to fund her female army and rule the world!
Chases, fisticuffs, nudity, a phone that still works after being underwater, outstanding location filming during Carnival.
Finally, memorable Goldfinger girl Shirley Eaton (in her final film) as blonde and brunette Sumuru.
Sadly, there is no plot, no sense of style, not even a genre to hang onto.
Fumbled cast and resources.

[Zaharoff]

M R James: Ghost Writer - 2013 - 6/10



Presenter Mark Gatiss narrates the life and works of premier ghost story scribe, M R James.
Excerpts from stories, talking heads, location shots of Cambridge and Eton.
A scholar, and solitary man. Typical of most writers, James himself is not particularly compelling.
Forays into his sexual inclinations seem a cross between speculation and weak attempt to create interest.
Time filler.

[Zaharoff]

Siren Of Atlantis - 1949 - 4/10
AKA: Atlantis, The Lost Continent



Fruity, cockeyed yarn about expedition searching for, and finding, fabled Atlantis.
The expedition is the French Foreign Legion.
Atlantis is in the middle of the Sahara!
Ruling the lost kingdom is a beautiful, ageless, sexually voracious queen.
Most of the citizenry act as guards or as dancers. (No TV, no reading material, dancing is the main entertainment,)
The music score is intrusive and distracting, and bulk of the acting is histrionic.
Who cares?
Queen Antinea wears skin tight or sheer as can be outfits. Plays chess with the men folk, leads them to her yawning conch shell bed, and drains their mojo, till their ain’t no wick in the stick.
Along with provocative costumes, there is the $5.00 set design. Cinematographer Karl Struss filled the flick with phallic imagery. Candlesticks, chessmen, marble columns, even the omnipresent masked, turbaned guards.
Bad film but a fun one.

[Zaharoff]

Nighty Night - S01 - 2004 - 7/10

Mean spirited, blacker than 2:00 AM, venomous comedy.
When husband is informed he has cancer, he inquires about treatment.
Wife Jill, on the other hand, suggests books such as “Goodbye Everyone” or “Heaven, I Can’t Wait!”
She then proceeds to hurry him to the grave.
Meanwhile, new neighbors arrive in a doctor and his wife (with multiple sclerosis).
Jill immediately sets out to rupture the marriage so she can bag and mount the doctor.



“I’m double jointed,” she confesses. “My hips go both ways.”
Jill is self-centered, toxic, wildly inappropriate, abusive - too many superlatives.
Everyone she encounters, she treats like bird scrapings.
Not remotely politically correct. γνῶθι σεαυτόν.

[Zaharoff]

Big Eyes - 2014 - 7/10



Based on the true story of Margaret Keane who drew wildly popular “big eyed" children in the 50s and 60s.
Her husband claims credit, since womenfolk lack serious artistic talent.
Christopher Waltz steals more than credit, he steals every scene with his cringeworthy portrayal of the oily husband.
This is a Tim Burton film and I was concerned going in that it would be another excursion into repetitive weirdness.
Not to worry, this was a straight ahead drama / female empowerment journey with nice San Francisco locations.
Turns out Burton is an admirer and collector of her work.
Narrative never drags, though it is spare on the aftermath.
Terence Stamp delicious as sarcastic art critic.



Creepy, big eyed children would make perfect zombies.

[Zaharoff]

Hamlet Goes Business - 1987 - 7/10
AKA - Hamlet Liikemaailmassa



Finnish reworking transforms the indecisive prince into a Noir player, as manipulative as he is lethal.
Hamlet’s father is murdered. The murderer marries Hamlet’s mother, takes over management of the company.
He announces he intends to sell off the shipping and timber divisions, in order to corner the rubber duck market.
You read correct. Rubber duck market. One of many alterations to the story.
Stark black n white, loaded with droll comedy, and murders aplenty.

I have seen over a dozen Hamlets. All are overlong and I find Hamlet himself annoying.
This version runs a concise 87“ and is cloaked in a grim smile.
Caveat emptor - Scandinavian humor might be an acquired taste.

[Zaharoff]

Le Moine - 2011 - 7/10
AKA - The Monk



French film, set in 17th century Madrid.
Foundling abandoned outside monastery is taken in by monks, subsequently raised as one of their own.
In time, the orphan (Vincent Cassel) grows into the monastery’s rock star.
Devoted followers from near and far pack the chapel to listen to his sermons, give confession.
Enter the serpent, a new acolyte, clad in an expressive leather mask to conceal the ravages of disease.
Visuals are ravishing, with several remarkable set pieces.
Performances are subdued, troubled, including Déborah François in a supporting role.
An ominous undercurrent builds throughout, but there is nothing in the way of explosive action.
Story is not necessarily the most original, though handsomely presented.
May prove excruciatingly slow for impatient viewers.

[Zaharoff]

Remember - 2016 - 8/10



Christopher Plummer and Martin Landau as ninetyish Auschwitz survivors in nursing home.
Plummer suffers dementia, Landau is wheelchair confined.
They discover an Auschwitz officer had escaped under a false name and lives in North America.
Plummer, confused and forgetful, agrees to locate and assassinate the Nazi.
Landau arranges as much as he can: tickets, room reservations, a printed itinerary, but Plummer is on his own.
Story makes rather painful viewing, but the hunt, the unfolding mystery, is thrilling, suspenseful and will keep you glued to the screen.
Plummer is exceptional in this, shading the character, Zev (Hebrew for Wolf) with regret, weariness, yet underlying resolve.

Note - Tiptoe review, this. Unexpected surprises occur during Zev’s journey.
Beware of reviews with thoughtless spoilers. Sadly, that trend worsens each year.

Great thread. Keep it up!

[Kevin]

Quote Originally Posted by Zaharoff

Big Eyes - 2014 - 7/10 Based on the true story of Margaret Keane who drew wildly popular “big eyed" children in the 50s and 60s. Her husband claims credit, since womenfolk lack serious artistic talent. Christopher Waltz steals more than credit, he steals every scene with his cringeworthy portrayal of the oily husband. This is a Tim Burton film and I was concerned going in that it would be another excursion into repetitive weirdness. Not to worry, this was a straight ahead drama / female empowerment journey with nice San Francisco locations. Turns out Burton is an admirer and collector of her work. Narrative never drags, though it is spare on the aftermath. Terence Stamp delicious as sarcastic art critic. Creepy, big eyed children would make perfect zombies.

Quite good. 8/10