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Old 01-28-2016   #1
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Realizations

What are some moments of realization you have throughout life, and how did they affect your choices?

I think the moments of realization hit us like jaw fracture. Too many of them and you'll be the loser on the ring.

The first happened in 5th grade, I realized the falseness of social relations. I was a good student, a teacher's favourite, known. My classmates were bullying another poor, not as smart girl disliked by the teacher through spreading rumours of her AID infection. In 3 months, I ended up trading place with her. After a stay in the hospital, everywhere I was marked as 'cancer'. Just like that, friendship, respect, teacher's love, intelligence went down the drain. I realized struggling to have 'place' or not didn't matter. The pressure at the top is real just as at the bottom...

I never fully recover from that realization. Everywhere I look, I see the same power struggle, fitting in, etc. What's the use? The top is just as uncomfortable as the bottom. 'In' or 'out', you will never escape.

What's your realization?

"So in the end it remains advisable to accept whatever comes, to behave like an inert mass even if one feels oneself being swept away, not to be lured into a single unneccesary step, to regard others with the gaze of an animal, to feel no remorse, in short to crush with one's own hand any ghost of life that subsists, that is, to intensify the final quiet of the grave still further and let nothing beyond that endure." ---Franz Kafka, Resolutions
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Old 01-28-2016   #2
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Re: Realizations

I had one yesterday.

I decided that Socrates was right and that poets/artists generally don't know what they're talking about. I'd resisted this idea for a long time, but the point is, it doesn't invalidate art. As he says (at least by Plato's account), poets are 'inspired' not wise. That doesn't mean they can't be the latter, it's just that, falling in love with the former, they tend to believe that it includes the latter and so don't trouble to cultivate the latter.

"As the Director of one of the five greatest museums in our Eastern States has more than once remarked to me, From the Stone Age until now, what a decline!" - Ananda Coomaraswamy
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Old 01-28-2016   #3
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Re: Realizations

There's nothing more irritating than seeing some self-declared 'artist' holding forth and offering their opinion on every damn topic under the sun and expecting to be taken seriously. Of course the culture of celebrity and the 24/7 media machine needs people to be spouting off constantly. Artists should just concentrate on becoming better artists, and stop deluding themselves that they have special 'insights' into human life that other mere mortals are denied.
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Old 01-28-2016   #4
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Re: Realizations

Although I would supplement what I said above with the following (and the wish that more 'poets', in whatever medium, were closer to this model):

https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_H...of_Abyssinia/X

"As the Director of one of the five greatest museums in our Eastern States has more than once remarked to me, From the Stone Age until now, what a decline!" - Ananda Coomaraswamy
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Old 01-28-2016   #5
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Re: Realizations

I realised a while ago that I shouldn't really trust anything my own mind or senses tell me and by extension anything any media outlet or human tells me. It is completely impossible for me to be certain about anything in this world, and this is a source of great inspiration and freedom or great panic and stress depending on how I feel at each particular moment.

'I believe in what the Germans term Ehrfurcht: reverence for things one cannot understand.'
― Robert Aickman, An Essay
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Old 01-28-2016   #6
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Re: Realizations

This is a moment from my sinful past . . .

I don't know why I believed it, but after the third losing hand at Blackjack, in a crowded Jersey casino, I thought that I could just "force" a big enough payoff to recoup my earlier winnings.
I split pairs, doubled down, played two handed, caught the "right" cards, but continued to lose.
At ten losing hands in a row I thought that it was impossible to lose another one.
At fifteen, I was gloating in my sweaty apprehension of the next card.
After, ironically enough, twenty one losing hands in a row - I was broke.
Other players, including the dealer wouldn't even look me in the eye, not that there was much to see except defeat. They actually got up from their seats so that they wouldn't accidentally touch me as I rose to leave.

My realization was that bad luck, karma, destiny or fate, can throw you for a loop anytime or anywhere, and it doesn't necessarily have to end, but how I handle it will affect me more than the outside force.

*This came in very handy a little while later when confronted with my substance abuse problem.

Lucian pigeon-holed the letter solemnly in the receptacle lettered 'Barbarians.' ~ The Hill of Dreams by Arthur Machen

“The wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.” – Oscar Wilde
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Old 01-28-2016   #7
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Re: Realizations

Quote Originally Posted by Malone View Post
There's nothing more irritating than seeing some self-declared 'artist' holding forth and offering their opinion on every damn topic under the sun and expecting to be taken seriously. Of course the culture of celebrity and the 24/7 media machine needs people to be spouting off constantly. Artists should just concentrate on becoming better artists, and stop deluding themselves that they have special 'insights' into human life that other mere mortals are denied.
Ha! I was just reading about Amanda Palmer and your post describes exactly how I feel about her. She even diminished my appreciation of Neil Gaiman, though it was never that high to begin with.

Your fall should be like the fall of mountains. But I was before mountains. I was in the beginning, and shall be forever. The first and the last. The world come full circle. I am not the wheel. I am the hand that turns the wheel. I am Time, the Destroyer. I was the wind and the stars before this. Before planets. Before heaven and hell. And when all is done, I will be wind again, to blow this world as dust back into endless space. To me the coming and going of Man is as nothing.
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Old 01-29-2016   #8
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Re: Realizations

I have been on this earth nearly half a century. I have tried many things, believed many things, and always tried to find my place in the world. My biggest personal revelation is when I learned that my proper place is.... nowhere. There are outsiders, and I am one of them. I don't feel superior to my fellow humans, I just cannot relate to them (does that make me inferior?). Maybe I observe too much, analyze too much, or am just locked into my own world because that is where I find the greatest comfort.

This used to disturbed me a great deal, but not anymore. I have stopped trying to climb ladders or fit in or garner attention. I am happiest, if I should use the word, when left to my own devices.

They say that people cannot be left alone with their own thoughts, that it would drive them mad. I think thats all that keeps me sane.

"The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind." - H. P. Lovecraft
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Old 01-29-2016   #9
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Re: Realizations

" I think the moments of realization hit us like jaw fractures. Too many of them and you'll be the loser on the ring."

The realization that our society (any society) is obsessed with the winning/losing paradigm continues to deepen, as does the attendant realization that the correct spiritual attitude towards worldly loss or gain looks a lot like, appears to be in fact impossible to separate from, well... worldly loss.
The subsequent realization then presents itself that the logical tendency to fear those jaw fractures is in fact counter to our spiritual well-being.
Too much time and energy in this society is being spent on imagining oneself the champion, and too little is given to consideration of the loser on the ring.

"What can a thing do with a thing, when it is a thing?"
-Shaykh Ibn Al 'Arabi
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Old 01-30-2016   #10
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Re: Realizations

Quote Originally Posted by Ibrahim View Post
" I think the moments of realization hit us like jaw fractures. Too many of them and you'll be the loser on the ring."

The realization that our society (any society) is obsessed with the winning/losing paradigm continues to deepen, as does the attendant realization that the correct spiritual attitude towards worldly loss or gain looks a lot like, appears to be in fact impossible to separate from, well... worldly loss.
The subsequent realization then presents itself that the logical tendency to fear those jaw fractures is in fact counter to our spiritual well-being.
Too much time and energy in this society is being spent on imagining oneself the champion, and too little is given to consideration of the loser on the ring.
I think society sometimes likes to focus on the losers. I hear of shows like Biggest Losers (a weight loss show, I believe?) or Honey Boo Boo getting aired because people enjoy watching others fail.

Is it due to lack of empathy or due to the absurdity of these contests?

Either way, being a winner isn't necessarily good. Once you're at the top, you have to continue being at the top. If not, your fall will be hard and devastating.

"So in the end it remains advisable to accept whatever comes, to behave like an inert mass even if one feels oneself being swept away, not to be lured into a single unneccesary step, to regard others with the gaze of an animal, to feel no remorse, in short to crush with one's own hand any ghost of life that subsists, that is, to intensify the final quiet of the grave still further and let nothing beyond that endure." ---Franz Kafka, Resolutions
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