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Old 02-06-2006   #11
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Re: Preferred Mode of Oblivion

Quote Originally Posted by SwansSoilMe/SwansSaveMe";p=&quot View Post
I thought this topic would be about suicide.
In my case, it is... Time-released and in slow motion.

"What does it mean to be alive except to court disaster and suffering at every moment?"

Tibet: Carnivals?
Ligotti: Ceremonies for initiating children into the cult of the sinister.
Tibet: Gas stations?
Ligotti: Nothing to say about gas stations as such, although I've always responded to the smell of gasoline as if it were a kind of perfume.
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Old 02-06-2006   #12
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Wow. That sounds like a kinky scenario although of course it could be nothing of the sort. In myselof, I've noticed a hint of the anhedonic.

"Think of it [Mr. Veech] -- wood waking up."
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Old 02-07-2006   #13
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Re: Preferred Mode of Oblivion

I always seem to fall back on red wine, sex, and jazz music (those are not necessarily in order of priority or frequency). Then when I need to get wound up again, I go to work
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Old 06-15-2014   #14
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Re: Preferred Mode of Oblivion

I like to think that my chronic ingestion of The Chronic isn't a method of avoiding reality, but a way to deepen and open myself to it. It shifts; it used to be my way to avoid dealing with things ( the "I'm high so I can't be arsed to talk to you" syndrome), but after a traumatic experience with shamanistic overtones, I make sure to spend time with family even when I'm chinese eyed (they rarely notice). I also get something out of it, in the form of musical creativity: every time I smoke up, I seem to come up with a new riff or phrase, so I'm not just blazing and veging out (though perhaps I need more of that; since I started writing again, my IBS has been acting up. The Grimscribe strikes again!) .

Like Ligotti, I'm on a regimen of anti depressants and sedatives. The SSRI's have been helpful, but the sedatives are just making me duller every day. I've been fortunate enough to have recently re-discovered the healing properties of certain typtamine containing plants, which are compatible with the SSRI I take. I don't advise anyone to do this, but the shamanistic ( we can argue over that term ) use of these plants has eliminated my agoraphobia, and has also been an invaluable aid to my meditative practice. Shamanism is almost the polar opposite of Western oblivion seeking though; it means confronting and working with suffering on the raw edges of existence.
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Old 10-31-2014   #15
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Re: Preferred Mode of Oblivion

I've accepted that I need a little distraction and escape; every night can't be a psychedelic death trip, so i've taken to snuff tobacco. Goddamn, that is THE way to take tobacco, hands down.
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Old 10-31-2014   #16
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Re: Preferred Mode of Oblivion

reading.


Gave up drinking and drugs decades ago. It seems like I preferred them a little too much and a little too often.

Lucian pigeon-holed the letter solemnly in the receptacle lettered 'Barbarians.' ~ The Hill of Dreams by Arthur Machen

“The wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.” – Oscar Wilde
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Old 11-01-2014   #17
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Re: Preferred Mode of Oblivion

sleeping is always good. even when i have nightmares, they're just free entertainment. last night i had a nightmare that my walls and ceiling were massive beehives, and the bees were coming after me. i woke up and stared at the spot where they'd opened in the dream for a while before finally dozing back off.

when I want to stop thinking without sleeping, internet is helpful (facebook, tumblr, youtube, netflix), as are repetitive puzzle games (candy crush, glyph quest).

I also combine reading and music on my lunch breaks at work to unwind before finishing the second half of my daily grind. I use big over the ear headphones to make things more immersive.
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Old 07-07-2015   #18
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Re: Preferred Mode of Oblivion

I've always been anhedonic, though strangely I find myself often the focus of others' restfulness; people who want to talk, or hang out with somebody. People just seem to find my presence restful. Performing is starting to become solace for me. I sang a bunch of folk songs for a friend the other night and the positive reaction I got just felt sooo nice.

"Every man's ME is the dullest part of him!"
- William S. Burroughs, Paradise Mislaid
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Old 01-28-2016   #19
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Re: Preferred Mode of Oblivion

Being on this forum, listening to music, and reading gay porn (in manga form).

The latter have not always worked, but the former is good for now.

"So in the end it remains advisable to accept whatever comes, to behave like an inert mass even if one feels oneself being swept away, not to be lured into a single unneccesary step, to regard others with the gaze of an animal, to feel no remorse, in short to crush with one's own hand any ghost of life that subsists, that is, to intensify the final quiet of the grave still further and let nothing beyond that endure." ---Franz Kafka, Resolutions
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Old 01-29-2016   #20
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Re: Preferred Mode of Oblivion

I have never really enjoyed drinking, though I like the feeling of a four beer buzz. The problem is that I don't like how it makes me feel the next day. What's more, I prefer the kind of intoxication that goes well with reading and writing. Alcohol just makes me want to sleep or lounge around. I am a big fan of Kratom however. As a once or twice a week treat (don't do it for consecutive days, as the withdrawals are horrible) , I've yet to find a more perfect feeling than Happy Hippo's "Hyper Hippo kratom". I can't believe that this stuff is legal! It's only a matter of time before the busybody do-gooders take it off the market. But for now, four or five teaspoons a day, and I just walk around smiling and blissed-out for 15 or so hours.

I also love nasal snuff. Frederick the Great had it right as far as that goes. I'd also love to have one of those exquisite 18th century snuff cases to put it in! Of course, nasal snuff has a lot more of the cancer-causing chemicals than regular snuff. If you want to indulge and be healthier, General Snus (Swedish) is the way to go. American snus is disgusting and not worth the money.

My other form of escapism is the Goetia, a subject that has fascinated me for a long time. I haven't actually done a ritual yet, but I'm damn tempted. I love reading about it however, as well as related subjects such as Kabbalah, Crowley, the Golden Dawn, etc.

I'm too much a product of my Protestant work ethic upbringing to not feel guilty about playing video games. But that Witcher 3 looks so cool! I'm very tempted to get a PS4 just so that I can play it. Yes, I'm a big fan of escapism, even if I don't do it very well!
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