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Old 04-12-2006   #1
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The Thomas Ligotti Recipe Book

Candy's Yummy Television Meat Marinade


Serves 1

INGREDIENTS
2-3 long salami sticks (not the short ones); hot dogs optional
1 jar mayonnaise

PREPARATION
Allow all ingredients to age slightly at room temperature, especially mayonnaise
Apply mayonnaise marinade to meat nonsense according to taste

SERVING SUGGESTION
Mindless television programming provides a colorful garnish for this festive dish; formerly elegant sofa optional

"What does it mean to be alive except to court disaster and suffering at every moment?"

Tibet: Carnivals?
Ligotti: Ceremonies for initiating children into the cult of the sinister.
Tibet: Gas stations?
Ligotti: Nothing to say about gas stations as such, although I've always responded to the smell of gasoline as if it were a kind of perfume.
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Old 04-12-2006   #2
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Re: The Thomas Ligotti Recipe Book

Can we substitute soy in lieu of meat? TLO in lieu of TV?
Mmmayonnaise makes everything better.

THOMAS LIGOTTI ONLINE
A Shining Brainless Beacon Of Elegant Mutations And Cunning Annihilations
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Old 04-13-2006   #3
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that's got to be the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. why ruin salami?

there is no stronger drug than reality

yog-sothoth
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Old 04-13-2006   #4
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Re: The Thomas Ligotti Recipe Book

Frank Zappa used to come into the kitchen and TRY to fix himself a meal. He settled on "burnt weeny sandwiches." Grab a weeny from the (hopefully) fridge...fork it over the gas stovetop...ingest. Now, I cannot say whether condom-ents were used.

"Think of it [Mr. Veech] -- wood waking up."
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Old 04-13-2006   #5
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Re: The Thomas Ligotti Recipe Book

Quote Originally Posted by unknown";p=&quot View Post
that's got to be the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. why ruin salami?
Well, yes, it is extremely disgusting. I merely authored the recipe. The original concept is from Thomas Ligotti's story "Purity."

Next (and just in time for those summer cookouts in the back yard): the secrets involved in preparing the perfect Sloppy Burger.

From an archaic kitchen in Muelenburg,
Phil

"What does it mean to be alive except to court disaster and suffering at every moment?"

Tibet: Carnivals?
Ligotti: Ceremonies for initiating children into the cult of the sinister.
Tibet: Gas stations?
Ligotti: Nothing to say about gas stations as such, although I've always responded to the smell of gasoline as if it were a kind of perfume.
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Old 04-13-2006   #6
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but you're not a poor black woman...I think...you might be if you continue to buy those ultra rare ligotti 'zines

there is no stronger drug than reality

yog-sothoth
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Old 04-15-2006   #7
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Re: The Thomas Ligotti Recipe Book

Lillian's Metro Diner Sloppy Burger

Serves 1

INGREDIENTS
1/2 pound ground goat meat nonsense
1 cup catsup
1/4 cup diced green onion
1 large hamburger bun

PREPARATION
Brown ground goat meat nonsense in skillet over medium heat
Fold in catsup and green onion
Stir until mixture bubbles gently
Apply mixture to bun

SERVING SUGGESTION
A pickle spear and generous serving of wavy potato chips or cheese curls complements this hearty culinary treat
Apply condiments to taste

"What does it mean to be alive except to court disaster and suffering at every moment?"

Tibet: Carnivals?
Ligotti: Ceremonies for initiating children into the cult of the sinister.
Tibet: Gas stations?
Ligotti: Nothing to say about gas stations as such, although I've always responded to the smell of gasoline as if it were a kind of perfume.
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Old 04-15-2006   #8
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Re: The Thomas Ligotti Recipe Book

Quote Originally Posted by G. S. Carnivals";p=&quot View Post
Lillian's Metro Diner Sloppy Burger
Now that's more like it - a meal that's practical, tasty, and literary. Food for thought, indeed...
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Old 04-15-2006   #9
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Re: The Thomas Ligotti Recipe Book

"Still sloppy. Still the best." -- Lillian Hayes

"What does it mean to be alive except to court disaster and suffering at every moment?"

Tibet: Carnivals?
Ligotti: Ceremonies for initiating children into the cult of the sinister.
Tibet: Gas stations?
Ligotti: Nothing to say about gas stations as such, although I've always responded to the smell of gasoline as if it were a kind of perfume.
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Old 04-18-2006   #10
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Re: The Thomas Ligotti Recipe Book

Ricky's Yellow House Spread

Serves 1

INGREDIENTS
1-2 cans "potted meat" nonsense
Bread, crackers, or pork rind nonsense

PREPARATION
Open can(s) of "potted meat" nonsense, allow to "air"
Apply ready-to-eat spread to bread, crackers, or pork rind nonsense

SERVING SUGGESTION
The true gourmand applies this delicious spread with his or her fingers; plastic knife, fork, or spoon optional

NOTE OF INTEREST
This delicacy is sometimes known as "Crampton Caviar"

"What does it mean to be alive except to court disaster and suffering at every moment?"

Tibet: Carnivals?
Ligotti: Ceremonies for initiating children into the cult of the sinister.
Tibet: Gas stations?
Ligotti: Nothing to say about gas stations as such, although I've always responded to the smell of gasoline as if it were a kind of perfume.
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