A few reviews

[Zaharoff]

Holy Smoke! - 1999 - Australia

Holy Smoke! - 1999 - 5/10

On holiday in India, Ruth casts aside her Western upbringing and becomes a devotee.
Her family, horrified, hire an American deprogrammer to excise the inner guru.
The route to removing the perceived “indoctrination” is a whole mess of talking.
Sorry, there are yards of nudity and sex in between.
Jane Campion drama, exploring charged sexual dynamics from the female side.
Comedy elements flag early, proceeding into an uncomfortable drama.

 

[Zaharoff]

Patton - 1970 - USA

Patton - 1970 - 7/10

Detailed overview of the flamboyant US tank general during World War II.
Not a biography, but a narrow view of 1942-1945.
Perceptive view of the flawed human, and the military genius.
Long (almost 3 hours), yet absorbing, punctuated with ferocious battle scenes.
George C. Scott deservedly won an Oscar.
Scott’s dominance overshadows other actors, almost the film itself.

 

[Zaharoff]

Ants - 1977 - USA

Ants - 1977 - 5/10
AKA - It Happened At Lakewood Manor

A construction crew upsets a gargantuan colony of ants.
Do they notice? Ha, ha, silly.
A hundred-year-old hotel, is now under attack by crawlies, as well as a greedy property developer.
Preposterous in many aspects, but will make you itchy, nevertheless.
Most of the rescue strategies turn out to be unintentionally funny.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3372261

 

[Zaharoff]

Ghost Bride - 2017 - Philippines

Ghost Bride - 2017 - 6/10

Mayen is the fiercely independent daughter in a struggling family.
The family are performers in old-fashioned Chinese opera.
No one attends much, owing to television and cellphones.
Father is a financial failure, the family faces eviction.
Mayen, beautiful Mayen, has suitors. Greedy, sleazy, lying, two-faced.
A matchmaker offers a huge amount of money if – if – Mayen marries a dead man.
Philippines horror takes its sweet time to get going.
Forty minutes in, however, once the agreement is made…hold on.
Wildly, deliriously over-the-top mash of horror, monks, priests, demons, ghosts.

 

[Zaharoff]

Successive Slidings Of Pleasure - 1974 - France

Successive Slidings Of Pleasure - 1974 - 6/10
AKA - Glissements Progressifs du Plaisir

Alice may have murdered her roommate, Nora.
She confessed she did. Or was she imagining it? Or fabricating?
Awaiting the reenactment, she is held in the convent prison with nuns as wardens.

Slow pace (typical of this director), steeped in French Catholicism.
Nudity aplenty, along with body paint and sharp instruments.
Extraordinary cast for this contorted arthouse from Robbe-Grillet
Anicée Alvina eerily evokes depraved innocence.

 

[Zaharoff]

Children Of Evil - 2023 - Serbia

Children Of Evil - 2023 - 7/10
AKA - Deca Zla

During an upcoming election, the frontrunner is murdered by a masked intruder.
Police soon find footprints, shoes, a witness, and a patsy.
Yet, the defense attorney reveals the shoes don’t fit, the witness has an alcohol problem.
There are also conflicts of interest in a rigged trial.
Well and good, until it delves into why the man was murdered, as well as the next victims.
Modern Noir, set in Serbia, laced with corruption, curses, and wartime atrocity.

 

[Zaharoff]

Escape From New York - 1981 - USA

Escape From New York - 1981 - 6/10

“I heard you were dead.”
Manhattan is a fortified prison, the rest of the US of A, a fascist dystopia.
All well and good, until the President is captured and held by inmates.
Brass then opts to send an ex-commando, Snake, in via glider.
Where he finds a waiting cabbie! Only in the movies, kids.
Watch for a good cast, menacing set design, and action. Disregard lack of logic.

 

[Zaharoff]

Lourdes - 2009 - France

Lourdes - 2009 - 6/10

The site of pilgrimage for the crippled, the dying, the desperate.
Christine has already been to Rome, and is now part of the French group.
Food, pep talks, the gift shop, the precious water, the grotto.
Each hoping for a miracle, perhaps wondering why God has damaged them.
Midway, there is a debate by the religious elite on whether God is all good, or all powerful.
I have been to a couple of these Marian shines, all felt like tourist traps to me.
Growing up with a handicapped parent hardened my outlooks on miracles.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3372457

 

[Maria B.]

Abruptio - 2023 - USA

Abruptio - 2023 - 7/10

Lester is having a bad run. Age 35 still living with parents, numbing workplace, love life in the dumpster.
Then he notices the scar in the back of everyone’s neck. In his own neck.
Where the bomb has been implanted – if instructions are not obeyed.
What instructions? Start murdering people.
Wildly imaginative, high concept Horror using body puppets.
Heavy on splatter, fueled with paranoia, dosed with Kafkaesque humor.
Certainly not for all tastes, yet jammed with X-Files references, as well as a Ligottian world view.

Even though I'd seen a few comments about this movie before watching it, I was still surprised. It was a wild ride and definitely worth watching.

 

[Zaharoff]

Vivacious Lady - 1938 - USA

Vivacious Lady - 1938 - 6/10

Milquetoast professor goes to the Big Apple to fetch a feckless cousin.
In the nightclub, he spies the songbird and it’s love at first sight.
Within two days, they are married and heading back to small town USA.
Where he does tell his parents, his students, or fiancé that he wed a blonde lounge singer.
What would others think? Dude, grow a spine.
Jimmy Stewart with his bumbling, stammering shtick grows tiresome; the romance rang false.
1930’s RomCom has dated badly for me. Resonated more with Depression audiences.

 

[Zaharoff]

One For The Road - 2023 - USA

One For The Road - 2023 - 6/10

The party in the bar is breaking up.
Then a couple of the guests ask the old barfly, Booth, about the history of ‘Salem’s Lot.
Acceptable adaptation of the King sequel.
Acting is passable, the black and white flashbacks are well done.
For buffs of the writer, this should grow on you, draw you in.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3372458

 

[Zaharoff]

Pitch Black - 2000 - USA

Pitch Black - 2000 - 6/10

Spacecraft is perforated by meteorites and crash lands on an uninhabited desert planet.
Survivors are a mixed lot, including a taciturn killer, Riddick.
Empty, the desert planet is not, for there are creatures that emerge at night.
And a very long night, indeed, is approaching.
First in the Riddick franchise makes the most of a limited budget and relies on Diesel’s charisma.
Predictable formula of “another one bites the dust” is, nevertheless, blushing fun.

 

[Zaharoff]

The Girlfriend - 2025 - UK

The Girlfriend - 2025 - 7/10

Pampered mama’s boy Daniel swoons over high-end realtor Cherry.
Mother Laura is incestuously possessive, and Cherry is a knockout with a murderous streak.
Daniel? What a dunce. 30 years old, still clutching Ma’s skirt, no employment. A rich manboy.
Short series is an extended, delicious catfight, each side with sharp claws and drawn knives.
All of us actually know overly close mother-son relationships shown here.
Occasionally over-the-top, never dull.

 

[Zaharoff]

Hansel And Gretel - 2007 - USA

Hansel And Gretel - 2007 - 6/10

Two children dash off into the woods, exploring, seeking adventure.
Which they find, rather, a witch finds them!
Oh, tasty, tasty, what a meal they’ll make.
Period costumes are OK, gingerbread house imaginative.
I believe, in trying to lend a fairytale sensibility, it was undershot, the focus too soft.
This grows extremely tedious.
Earliest film from Robert Eggers shows promise.

 

[Zaharoff]

Barbarella - 1968 - France

Barbarella - 1968 - 6/10

Our heroine is after a rogue scientist with a life-destroying death ray.
She crash lands, is captured, rescued, and has her first experience of physical sex.
Barbarella proceeds to share the love, continuing with her mission.
Genuine 1960’s artifact has a Euro-design and sensibility.
Less campy, less rollicking than Danger: Diabolik (1968), this tries too hard.
Fonda never looks comfortable onscreen here.

 

[Zaharoff]

Murder On Aix Island - 2017 - France

Murder On Aix Island - 2017 - 5/10
AKA - Les Mystères de I'île

José is found floating in a small boat. Dead. With a garnet jewel.
The assigned police captain force-deputizes the mayor, as he knows everyone.
While the mystery that becomes more and more implausible.
Stream of suspects and odd twists cannot disguise the lack of logic.
Time and again, “Why’d that happen?” “How’d she beat two police cars?”
Will hold your interest, but don’t ask yourself questions afterward.

 

[Zaharoff]

Arctic Circle 2 - 2023 - Finland

Arctic Circle 2 - 2023 - 6/10
AKA - Ivalo 2

Five years on, detective Nina has moved: school for her daughter, hospital for dying mother.
Assassinations and a disappearance draw her back to Ivalo, where she teams with a Russian cop.
Police work and mystery of the lodge are attractions.
Nina’s family business remains a waste of time and grinding gears.
She is a terrible mother, why do writers insist on weighing down this series with oily soap?

 

[Zaharoff]

Outside The Wall - 1950 - USA

Outside The Wall - 1950 - 6/10

Larry, in the prison since he was 15, receives a pardon and enters the big city at 30.
His ignorance of society pales next to his innocence of females.
Who, despite his reticence and reserve, are attracted to him, mostly with ill intent.
Basehart does well as the naive Larry, quickly calloused and tempted back into the old life.
Prison itself is misrepresented as a happy place, full of smiles.

 

[Zaharoff]

The Haunted Palace - 1963 - USA

The Haunted Palace - 1963 - 6/10

The village of Arkham finally has enough of Curwen, the aristocratic dabbler.
Even dying, he swears vengeance on the Arkham descendants.
100+ years pass and the estate goes to his descendant, Charles Dexter Ward.
A hilltop palace, with two surviving (?) servants and a framed portrait.
Guess whose personality begins to overrule young Ward?
Poe title, Lovecraft setting and characters, Price and Chaney give good performances.

 

[Zaharoff]

Ground Swell: The Other Side of Fear - 2022 - USA

Ground Swell: The Other Side of Fear - 2022 - 7/10

This opens and closes at Navare, Portugal.
In-between: Jaws, Pipeline, Mavericks.
The big waves, fifty to one-hundred feet. The monsters.
If you want travelogues or board stunt work, this ain’t it.
This is surf porn, with lots of drone camerawork.
View with the biggest screen you can find.